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Teach Your Kids the Bible and Christian History

Calm the Angry Parent Inside and Build Your Kids Up

December 31, 2019 By Danika 4 Comments

Thinking Kids Press uses referral links in posts. Signing up for free offers will subscribe you to our email list. We'll send you encouragement, free products, and exclusive offers via email. You can read our disclaimer, privacy policy, terms and conditions of use, and Danika Cooley's personal statement of faith and beliefs for more information. The Thinking Kids Press store is located at ThinkingKidsPress.com.
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Struggling with angry parenting? Calm the angry parent within and learn to respond biblically to your children with this great resource.


Calm the Angry Parent Inside and Build Your Kids Up
I want to thank New Leaf Press and Cross Focused Reviews for providing me with a copy of Pitchin’ A Fit in return for my honest opinion.
John Crysostom (347-407), an Early Church Father and theologian, once said: “No matter how just your words may be, you ruin everything when you speak with anger.”

Ouch. Have you ever looked into little, wide eyes and realized that your important parental correction–that teachable moment–is ruined because of the tone of your voice, the volume of your speech, or the words you’ve spoken? Can you relate to pitchin’ a fit?


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I know I have seen that look of pain on my child’s face, and I’ve been horrified at my own behavior.

To be honest, my anger and the pain in my relationships drove me to the cross of Christ in repentance and grief. I’m so glad it did! The salvation that comes through the atoning blood of Jesus Christ through the grace of God didn’t instantly remove my anger. Sanctification has been a long process for me, and I’m always surprised now at the patience and peace I find in my heart–I know it surely has not come from me, but from the Prince of Peace Himself.


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Angry Parenting

You can calm the angry parent inside!

Most people would categorize me as a “Type-A” personality. My husband tells the kids there’s actually no category for me–I’m just always going. If I’m not really careful, I tend to live life without margin. In fact, I’ll schedule into my sleeping time if need be, just to be able to say “yes” to the things I really want to be able to commit to. Sometimes that works out. But often, it shortchanges my kids, my patience, and my ability to perform when life’s unexpected events occur.

I’ve learned that if my life is too busy to absorb a sick child, or an unexpected day trip with my family, I’m too busy. When there’s no margin in my life at all, I can easily become stressed and irritated. It’s not a long trip from irritated to angry.

Have you experienced that?

I also have found that it’s worthwhile to manage my expectations of others. It’s when I expect too much of my kids that I tend to become angry.

I’m not saying we shouldn’t train our children into adulthood. I’m just saying that my desire to give instructions once and then have my children perform perfectly is not realistic. Training takes time, patience, and love. If I expect to work through an issue with my child more than once, it somehow causes my parental frustration to evaporate. The day I decided that my job is to say the same thing over and over, to lead my kids to the same verses over and over, I became a lot calmer, and a whole lot happier.


Love the Bible for Kids | A resource you'll love!


Is It Wrong to Get Angry?

Brook and Israel Wayne have written a wonderful book, Pitchin’ A Fit (New Leaf Publishing, 2016), to help parents deal with the problem of angry parenting.

I’m so glad the Waynes addressed this issue of overcoming anger in parenting.

It’s common in our culture to hear a defense of anger as “just an emotion”, as an important way of validating our feelings, and as an effective means of parenting.

Here’s the thing: Scripture doesn’t leave us in the dark about this. God’s righteous anger and wrath are holy, and without sin. The Lord is a holy and righteous Judge. We, however, are sinners from the womb (Psalm 51:5).

While, we can feel righteous anger also (over abortion, child abuse, the martyrdom and oppression of fellow brothers and sisters in Christ, and so on), our righteous anger is tainted by our sin nature.

When I’m grieved by a sinful decision my child makes that harms another person, that grief can initially be just. However, as I process that emotion, it usually morphs into an anger that is no longer righteous. I believe that’s why we find just a few verses in the Bible like Ephesians 4:26-27 (ESV):

Be angry and do not sin; do not let the sun go down on your anger, and give no opportunity to the devil.

We’re going to get angry. In parenting, we’ll likely have ample opportunity for anger. Those moments of anger–righteous or unrighteous–are our opportunity to turn to Christ for Holy-Spirit-gifted grace, mercy, forgiveness, and self-control. Before we get angry, we can seek the Lord and petition him for love, peace, patience, and kindness with our families.

I’m going to be transparent with you. I pray for love, peace, patience, and kindness throughout the day. When I meet with my church’s small group for Bible study and we have our weekly time for prayer requests, that’s what I ask people to pray for me. I’ve been asking that, and praying that prayer, for years now. The Lord has been faithful to honor my request.

Israel Wayne assures us that if we are habitually angry:

  1. You are not alone. Everyone struggles with this issue to some extent.
  2. It is not okay. Left unchecked it will damage important relationships.
  3. There is hope. There is freedom found in God’s Word to help you overcome this habitual sin.
    Pitchin’ A Fit!, page 12

That is both encouraging and sobering. I agree we’re not alone, we can’t stay angry, and there is a way out through sanctification in Christ. God’s Word is always the answer.


When Lightning Struck!: The Story of Martin Luther for your teens.


Calm the Angry Parent

Israel and Brook Wayne’s new book, Pitchin’ a Fit!: Overcoming Angry and Stressed-Out Parenting is a valuable book for parents struggling with anger and overwhelm. In twelve manageable chapters, the co-founders of Family Renewal and parents of nine children address whether angry parenting is truly biblical, whether it’s effective, and how to identify tempting situations. They also discuss the value and source of patience, a different way to parent, and how to get help with parenting in anger.

As a parent who had anger modeled in my childhood, who struggled deeply with angry parenting as an adult, and who has overcome anger (though I must watch for it every day, as I find that the sin that crouches at my door tends to be the same sin time after time), I was really happy to see that Mr. and Mrs. Wayne wrote of issues, verses, and solutions that mirrored the journey the Lord has led me on. Their advice isn’t a quick fix, but it is very sound. And it’s rooted in Scripture.

If you’re struggling with angry, stressed-out parenting, I highly recommend Israel and Brook Wayne’s book, Pitchin’ A Fit!. 


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Pitchin’ A Fit! Chapters:

  1. Stressed Out and Overwhelmed
  2. Is It Wrong to Get Angry?
  3. What Causes Anger?
  4. Provoking Our Children to Wrath?
  5. Trigger Happy — What Sets You Off?
  6. Yelling Moms, Hollering Dads
  7. “But I’m Not Patient!”
  8. What Patience Is and Isn’t
  9. Nurture in the Heart of Correcting
  10. The Power of Affirmation
  11. Creating Peace in the Home
  12. Accountability

Wonderfully Made by Danika Cooley


Pitchin' A Fit!: Overcoming Angry and Stressed-Out ParentingPitchin’ A Fit!: Overcoming Angry and Stressed-Out ParentingPitchin' A Fit!: Overcoming Angry and Stressed-Out Parenting

Christian Book: Pitchin’ A Fit!: Overcoming Angry and Stressed-Out Parenting


More Books by Israel Wayne

Questions God AsksQuestions God AsksQuestions God AsksQuestions Jesus Asks: Where Divinity Meets HumanityQuestions Jesus Asks: Where Divinity Meets HumanityQuestions Jesus Asks: Where Divinity Meets HumanityEducation: Does God Have an Opinion?Education: Does God Have an Opinion?Education: Does God Have an Opinion?Answers for HomeschoolingAnswers for HomeschoolingAnswers for Homeschooling

 


Overcoming Anger Scripture Memory Cards

Bible Verses about Anger | Overcome Anger in Parenting
I took many of the Scripture verses mentioned in Pitchin’ A Fit, added a few of my own, and made a pack of Overcoming Anger Scripture Memory Cards for me–and for you. They’re available in ESV or KJV, and there are 45 verses in the pack. Just sign up for out newsletter below and I’ll send them to you!


Help Your Kids Learn and Love the Bible

Love the Bible for Kids | A resource you'll love!

You want your kids to learn and love the Bible. 

You want to teach the Bible…

As parents, we deeply desire the best for our kids. We look for the right schools, we make them eat right and exercise, and we get them involved in extracurricular activities. We take our job as parents seriously.

But are we also putting our time and energy into
teaching them the Bible? Giving them the life-changing, soul-nourishing words of Scripture is not only doable, it’s an essential part of parenting kids for Jesus. And the good news is, studying God’s Word as a family doesn’t have to be difficult!

2 Timothy 2:15, ESV, says:

Do your best to present yourself to God as one approved,
a worker who has no need to be ashamed, rightly handling the word of truth.

Our job, as parents who love Jesus, is to help our kids become approved workers, unashamed and rightly handling the word of truth.

The good news? Teaching the Bible isn’t hard. Your family can learn the Bible together.

…and you can!

A Crash Course in Teaching the Bible to Your Kids

Danika Cooley’s book, Help Your Kids Learn and Love the Bible, will give you the tools and confidence to study the Bible as a family. It will help you identify and overcome your objections and fears, give you a crash course in what the Bible is all about and how to teach it, and provide the guidance you need to set up a family Bible study habit.

You will finish this book feeling encouraged and empowered to initiate and strengthen your child’s relationship with the Lord through His Word.

Help Your Kids Learn and Love the Bible button

Help Your Kids Learn and Love the Bible will equip you with everything you need to know to teach the Bible to your kids!

Tauna Meyer Help Your Kids Learn and Love the Bible 3


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Calm the Angry Parent Inside and Build Your Kids Up

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Comments

  1. Shaun Tabatt says

    March 18, 2016 at 5:31 am

    Danika,

    Thanks for another helpful review. I appreciate you linking back to my interview with Israel and Brook!

    Reply
    • Danika says

      March 18, 2016 at 6:40 am

      My pleasure, Shaun! Thanks for the great work you do!

      Reply
  2. marilyn stuebenbrasuell says

    March 18, 2016 at 5:41 am

    I love the book club idea! Would you ever consider another platform? We are not a facebook house, but maybe there is another way? Thanks for all you do, many times just when I think I can’t face another moment I get a second wind from a well-timed email from you.

    Reply
    • Danika says

      March 18, 2016 at 6:39 am

      Oh, Marilyn, thank you for the kind words. That blesses me.

      I know not everyone is on Facebook, so I’ll be blogging through the book here. I’ll have posts every two weeks, and I’ll start at the end of week one with chapters one and two. I’m hoping we can discuss here as well. 🙂

      Reply

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photo credit: @billdjohnson

Welcome to Thinking Kids!

My name is Danika Cooley, and I’m glad you’re here. This site exists to help equip you to teach your kids the Bible and Christian history. I’m an author, a homeschool mom, and a curriculum developer. Pull up a chair and stay awhile.

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