• Home
  • About
    • Contact Danika
    • Help Your Kids Learn and Love the Bible
    • Who What Why Series | Christian Biographies for Kids
    • When Lightning Struck!: The Story of Martin Luther
    • Wonderfully Made: God’s Story of Life from Conception to Birth
    • Statement of Faith and Beliefs
    • Thinking Kids Disclosures
    • Thinking Kids Privacy Policy
    • Thinking Kids Website & Printables Terms and Conditions of Use
  • Thinking Kids Press Store
  • Help Your Kids Learn and Love the Bible
  • Who What Why Series | Christian Biographies for Kids
  • When Lightning Struck!
  • Wonderfully Made
  • Thinking Kids Press
    • Bible Road Trip™
      • Bible Road Trip™ Year One
      • 10 Reasons to Take a Road Trip Through the Bible
      • The Buzz on Bible Road Trip™ | Reviews
      • BRT ~ The Everything Page
      • Bible Verses for Children: Bible Road Trip™ Memory Verse Cards
      • Statement of Faith and Beliefs
    • Bible Lapbooks | Hands-On Bible Study for Kids
    • Cobblestone Path
  • Book Reviews
    • Parenting / Homeschooling
    • Ages 4-7
    • Middle Grade (Ages 8-12)
    • Middle School
    • High School
  • Christian Parenting
  • Homeschooling Coolness
  • Artfully Learned

Thinking Kids

Teach Your Kids the Bible and Christian History

Loading the Dishwasher while Standing on Broken Glass (or Children’s Chores)

June 24, 2016 By Danika 20 Comments

Thinking Kids Press uses referral links in posts. Signing up for free offers will subscribe you to our email list. We'll send you encouragement, free products, and exclusive offers via email. You can read our disclaimer, privacy policy, terms and conditions of use, and Danika Cooley's personal statement of faith and beliefs for more information. The Thinking Kids Press store is located at ThinkingKidsPress.com.
275 shares
  • Facebook183
  • Twitter

Loading the Dishwasher Standing On Broken Glass (A New Way to View Children's Chores)
I hate the word ‘chores’.  You may as well start running your nails down the chalkboard, because I’m already shivering.

Don’t get me wrong: I love having a clean house. I love having everything organized. Alright, I’ll be honest–every item in my home is labeled, categorized and alphabetized. What I don’t love is bickering, whining, lying, procrastination, charts full of happy face stickers, and an intricate system of rewards and punishments to organize children’s chores. I’d almost rather load the dishwasher while standing on broken glass.

Judging by the amount of merchandise, books, and magazine articles available on the subject of children’s chores, I’m guessing chores for kids is a pretty big issue for many, many families.

My husband and I have four kids. Uniquely, we didn’t raise them all at the same time. Our first two children are grown and on their own and our second ‘set’ are in the early elementary years. {June 2016: I wrote this post years ago and I still agree with myself. My youngest two are in middle school now.} These parenting circumstances have given me a little different perspective on child-rearing. In fact, I can tell you everything we did wrong the first time, and the new things we’re trying now!

The first time around, I wrote neat little graphs detailing each child’s chores. I applied colored stars, and I highlighted mistakes. We had family meetings.  Allowance was doled out based on performance. I’ll be frank: it was a nightmare. Rather than fostering a sense of unity and togetherness, our “chores” divided us. Our older children learned that life is sectioned into individual units of responsibility. They also learned to procrastinate and under-apply themselves.

What, exactly, is the purpose of children’s chores?

I asked myself this very question. Here’s what I came up with (let me know if you have a different list):

  1. To teach responsibility.
  2. To foster the idea that, as a family, we are all in this together.
  3. To clean the house, mow the lawn, have family meals, etc.

Love the Bible for Kids | A resource you'll love!


A New Way of Handling Children’s Chores

Today, our children help when we need assistance. When the dishwasher is full, we all empty it. When the laundry needs to be done, they switch it over, put it on the table, and put the piles in the appropriate drawers as I fold it. We set the table together, clear the table together, pull weeds together. I say ‘please’ and ‘thank you’, because I appreciate their service and I want to model appropriate behavior for them.

This system allows a lot of flexibility. If I want to serve my children, or actually clean something (come on–we all know how kids clean!), I don’t ask them to help.

There is a lot less angst and frustration. No one keeps track of who’s doing what. No one is standing around while someone else is working. Things are always picked up. I’m not waiting around for my child to remember a chore at the end of the week just so they can earn a privilege or an allowance.

No one skates out of housework–I just (politely) ask for help, and I’m standing right there! When their personal space needs to be cleaned, I ask them (please) to clean up within, say, 20 minutes. I then offer to help if it’s not done by then. {Note: This is after teaching them how to clean by cleaning along with them.} (Everyone knows “helping” means mom stores items left out in a garbage bag in the garage until they are earned back. Mysteriously, this help has only been accepted once per child!)

Our children enjoy cleaning. They enjoy having a clean environment, and they see their work as a valuable contribution. They actually volunteer to work when they notice something needs to be done.

Our children see family life as far more organic than a rigid structure consisting of rules and regulations. They’ve helped lay tile, stucco the house, paint, garden, clean the bathroom, and vacuum. They do these tasks with joy because we do them with joy–and we do them together.

The word ‘chores’ still makes me shiver. But it also makes me smile. You won’t find any chores  in our home. We have an abundance of work, but we also have an abundance of hands.


Bible Study Tools for Kids | FREE Bible Study Resources for Your Family

Grab your FREE Bible Study Tool Kit–over 130 pages of Bible resources for your family!


Six Years Later ~ How Chores For Kids Works in Our Home

I wrote this piece nearly six years ago when I started Thinking Kids. I have to say, I’m really pleased with how this non-system of chores for kids has worked out for us! My boys are responsible, hard-working, and they actually volunteer to do things around the house and garden. In fact, they volunteer to help others as well, even with tough jobs like spreading bark dust. I do have to note that they never, ever volunteer to clean the bathrooms, but they do it joyfully once a week when prompted. My 12-year-old does spot clean the bathrooms frequently. I usually do have to remind them to handle the dishes (unless they need something to cook with!).

Everyone in the household has things they really care about, and we naturally keep an eye on those areas. For instance, our third child really cares about the welfare of our outdoor animals and about the berry harvesting (we grow a lot of blueberries and raspberries). Our youngest has decided he’s in charge of artichoke care, and the meticulous upkeep of their shared bedroom.

I’m so very glad we did away with all the systems and assigned work, and decided to just work together to run the household. When I’m really sick, the boys can run the household on their own. The only area they really don’t touch is dinner, and that’s my personal choice. I feel like they both have plenty to do with household work, school work, sports, and youth group activities. I enjoy cooking and just make double or triple batches once or twice a week so there’s always extra dinners in the freezer. They do cook their own breakfast and lunch, though.

A Final Take-Away on Children’s Chores

Model for your kids the way you’d like the house to be cared for, teach them biblical stewardship, and invite them to work alongside of you. Invitations like this are not optional (kids still need to obey and understand they are being directed to help), but they are better received than orders! A united family really does run well.


Help Your Kids Learn and Love the Bible

Love the Bible for Kids | A resource you'll love!

You want your kids to learn and love the Bible. 

You want to teach the Bible…

As parents, we deeply desire the best for our kids. We look for the right schools, we make them eat right and exercise, and we get them involved in extracurricular activities. We take our job as parents seriously.

But are we also putting our time and energy into
teaching them the Bible? Giving them the life-changing, soul-nourishing words of Scripture is not only doable, it’s an essential part of parenting kids for Jesus. And the good news is, studying God’s Word as a family doesn’t have to be difficult!

2 Timothy 2:15, ESV, says:

Do your best to present yourself to God as one approved,
a worker who has no need to be ashamed, rightly handling the word of truth.

Our job, as parents who love Jesus, is to help our kids become approved workers, unashamed and rightly handling the word of truth.

The good news? Teaching the Bible isn’t hard. Your family can learn the Bible together.

…and you can!

A Crash Course in Teaching the Bible to Your Kids

Danika Cooley’s book, Help Your Kids Learn and Love the Bible, will give you the tools and confidence to study the Bible as a family. It will help you identify and overcome your objections and fears, give you a crash course in what the Bible is all about and how to teach it, and provide the guidance you need to set up a family Bible study habit.

You will finish this book feeling encouraged and empowered to initiate and strengthen your child’s relationship with the Lord through His Word.

Help Your Kids Learn and Love the Bible button

Help Your Kids Learn and Love the Bible will equip you with everything you need to know to teach the Bible to your kids!

Tauna Meyer Help Your Kids Learn and Love the Bible 3


More Thinking Kids Posts You’ll Love

Help Your Kids Learn and Love the BibleHelp Your Kids Learn and Love the BibleTeach Your Kids to be Thankful for Life in the WombTeach Your Kids to be Thankful for Life in the WombMartin Luther: When Lightning Struck! Book Discussion GuideMartin Luther: When Lightning Struck! Book Discussion Guide9 Intentional Christian Parenting Tips9 Intentional Christian Parenting TipsStewarding Talents and Spiritual Gifts in Your ChildrenStewarding Talents and Spiritual Gifts in Your Children3 Reasons to Teach Kids About Life in the Womb3 Reasons to Teach Kids About Life in the WombTidying Up | Materialism, the Bible, and Your KidsTidying Up | Materialism, the Bible, and Your KidsTeaching Christian Worldview to Your Children in a Way They'll UnderstandTeaching Christian Worldview to Your Children in a Way They’ll UnderstandHow to Volunteer with KidsHow to Volunteer with KidsHow to Study the Bible at Home (Even If You Haven't Read It)How to Study the Bible at Home (Even If You Haven’t Read It)Life Lessons from MotherhoodLife Lessons from MotherhoodFour Reasons to Teach Christian History to Your KidsFour Reasons to Teach Christian History to Your KidsChildren in Church: Teach Kids to WorshipChildren in Church: Teach Kids to WorshipWhen Your Child Breaks Your Heart | How to SurviveWhen Your Child Breaks Your Heart | How to Survive5 Things That Occur When I Complain about My Kids5 Things That Occur When I Complain about My KidsChristian Parenting. Fight the Good Fight.Christian Parenting. Fight the Good Fight.100 Ways to Encourage Your Child100 Ways to Encourage Your ChildCalm the Angry Parent Inside and Build Your Kids UpCalm the Angry Parent Inside and Build Your Kids UpFive Things That Occur When I Encourage My ChildFive Things That Occur When I Encourage My Child5 Things that Occur When I Overreact to My Child's Offense5 Things that Occur When I Overreact to My Child’s Offense5 Things That Occur When I Yell at My Child5 Things That Occur When I Yell at My ChildTeach Kids the Bible Using the BibleTeach Kids the Bible Using the BibleTen Ways to Show Respect for Your TeenTen Ways to Show Respect for Your TeenParenting Lessons from Early in my MarriageParenting Lessons from Early in my Marriage


Loading the Dishwasher Standing On Broken Glass (A New Way to View Children's Chores)

Join the newsletter

Get the Family Prayer Box Project FREE!

Teach your children to pray with this fun project that includes 7 printable sets!

Awesome! Go check your email to confirm your subscription. After you confirm, I'll send your Family Prayer Box Project!

There was an error submitting your subscription. Please try again.

We won't send you spam. Unsubscribe at any time. Powered by ConvertKit

Filed Under: Christian Parenting Tagged With: Biblical, Children, chore charts, chores, Christian, Homeschool, Kids, Parenting, perspective, rewards, teaching, Thinking

Join the Newsletter and Get Gifts and Offers

« God’s Servant Job by Douglas Bond
Relationships in Light of the Gospel »

Comments

  1. Heather says

    March 30, 2011 at 8:05 am

    What an amazing thought! I will be starting to try this right NOW because we need to figure out something!

    Thank you for joining our BF community!

    Reply
    • Danika Cooley says

      March 30, 2011 at 8:20 am

      Thanks! It’s working well for us. 🙂

      Reply
  2. Dawn says

    March 30, 2011 at 7:19 pm

    I agree! As a family we should all help out with what needs to get done around the house. Like you said, we are a family and we are in this together. My 2 year old always wants to help me vaccuum and I let him. Then I pick up where he leaves off. My five year old asked me just yesterday if I was going to pay him an allowance if he helped me with chores. (He obviously got this from one of his friends in school since I just picked him up from the bus). I told him no, as part of our family its your “duty” for lack of a better word to help out around the house.

    Great post! Thank you!

    Reply
    • Danika Cooley says

      April 1, 2011 at 5:37 pm

      Dawn, Thank you for the reply! This system certainly works better for us, and I feel like I’m doing a better job of raising up adults. It sounds like it’s working well for you, too. 🙂

      Reply
  3. Kimberly 'Bookwalter' Terrill says

    April 5, 2011 at 9:02 am

    I pretty much never used the word chores with in the house. (it’s just an easy word to use when talking to others about the way housework is getting done)
    I always called them jobs if they needed a name.
    we never did allowance. (but the boys can ask for extra work to earn money if they want)
    and I have never ever liked the idea of ‘everyone wash their own clothes’- that, tome, teaches selfishness and NOT helpfulness. It breeds the concept of: “Why should I wash that? It’s not MY dirty shirt/ Why should I help so&so clean that? It’s not MY mess”
    My boys do Morning Jobs Laundry, Dishes, Trash)- basically because I am lazy. They do that in the morning to [A]- get them off the computer a little earlier. [B]- so I can getup and have nothing to do for a few hours…LOL. Everything else (rest of dishes,laundry, mopping, etc)- is just done by me- and I ask their help.

    (came here from your link posted on HipHomeschool Mom FB)

    Reply
    • Danika Cooley says

      April 5, 2011 at 9:20 am

      Thanks for the comment, Kimberly! I always appreciate your comments on the Homeschool forums, too. 🙂

      Reply
  4. Debbie Wenzel says

    April 14, 2011 at 9:31 am

    There is such truth in what you say. Even if the whole’chore’ thing isn’t a disaster, and is mostly working, as it was in my home, I came to realize a different major pitfall as my boys reached adolescence. My chore list approach was raising good workers, good order takers, but not good husbands or fathers.
    A chore list doesn’t teach initiative. It doesn’t teach a child to recognize work that needs doing.
    We changed our approach, got rid of chore lists and went to 30 minutes a day of ‘contributing to the needs of the household. It was a hard transition for them because they wanted to be told what need doing rather than having to observe and decide for themselves. Eventually, it took hold.
    I wish that I had the wisdom to stay as you described, the progression to what I ended with would have been natural.

    Reply
    • Danika Cooley says

      April 14, 2011 at 10:14 am

      Those are some great points, Debbie. In the end, we want to raise Godly, thinking men and women. That should be the goal – not efficiency. Thanks for commenting!

      Reply
  5. Shama says

    May 27, 2016 at 9:44 pm

    Great article. We do call them chores but they always get done faster when I’m working along side them. Gave me a few more things to think about. Thanks!

    Reply
  6. ariel says

    June 1, 2016 at 5:34 am

    Great thoughts here! Maybe you could do a follow up article that’s a little more detailed? I would be curious to hear more about how you implemented this idea at each age and how you fostered a good attitude.

    Reply
  7. Jessica says

    June 1, 2016 at 3:22 pm

    I wholeheartedly agree…but, for me it is more about holding ME accountable. I have a tendency to be a major rule follower and I neeeeed structure as much if not more then my children.
    I am a mother of 5, my oldest daughter is 21 and has a 2yr old son herself, my oldest son is 17 and has lived with his bio-dad for 8 yrs now (heartbreak), my other children are a 10yr old boy and 8yr old boy/girl twins.
    With my oldest I rarely required they do chores and any time I asked it was a battle.
    Now with my younger children I use a very basic chore chart. 1 or 2 small chores a day per child. It helps me balance some of the little jobs that they are fully capable of doing like bring the garbage cans up from the curb, taking out recycling, cleaning toilets so in and so forth. But I do ask them to do additional things throughout the week but it is more of a family activity. My kids generally enjoy helping and I use the chore chart to help me be balanced in their responsibilities and challenging them from time to time. They let me know when they are bored and it’s time for new charts.

    I enjoyed your post and thank you for your prospective! I often base my parenting off researching opposite ends of the spectrum and then finding what works for me and my family.

    Reply
  8. Jen B says

    June 27, 2016 at 4:36 am

    We call chores “family blessings.” It’s a way to refocus attention from self to others.

    Reply
  9. Kelli says

    June 27, 2016 at 4:41 am

    I love this concept! So what do you do about allowance…if anything? I’ve always struggled to “pay” for helping around the house but also want my kids to earn their own money to learn financial responsibility. Can’t quite figure out how to combine those two! 🙂

    Reply
    • K says

      July 19, 2016 at 5:03 pm

      I would love to hear this answer, as well. I am in the same boat.

      Reply
  10. Sharon says

    June 27, 2016 at 5:59 am

    It seems that you sent this “children’s chores” information just for me:) I struggle constantly trying to understand how we can get our “chores” done in the day. We have a 2 acre garden we keep up, have 5 children to raise and try to teach Godly. I see much of selfishness going on and maybe it’s because of the chore thing – each one has their own and they fuss if they have to help someone else out for certain things. I am going to try this method…I think the Lord has directed you to me for less chaos in my life! Thank you so much!

    Reply
  11. Kelli says

    June 29, 2016 at 8:06 pm

    Danika, just wondering if you keep a list for yourself of when you want certain things done. Just thinking about how I can organize this for myself so all areas get done each week.
    Thanks so much!

    Reply
    • Danika says

      June 29, 2016 at 10:18 pm

      Hi, Kelli. We have more of a rhythm. Bathrooms usually get done on Mondays, floors Tuesdays, etc. Animals, dishes, and laundry are done daily. We do our garden work daily and other yard work as needed. Fridays we straighten everything up so it’s nice for the weekend.

      Reply
      • Kelli says

        June 30, 2016 at 3:59 am

        Ok. That sounds very doable and freeing! Going to do a trial run this summer. Thanks!

        Reply
  12. Amanda B says

    July 3, 2016 at 12:41 pm

    Thanks for posting this! I am currently trying to figure out how to get a better routine going at our house, and reading your idea here was a huge blessing to me. It’s also the only approach I think I could maintain for more than a few months at a time!

    Reply
    • Danika says

      July 3, 2016 at 1:19 pm

      I’m glad this is helpful to you, Amanda. Keeping a routine/system that works through the seasons with various ages has definitely been a priority for us as well. It’s so nice to hear from you!

      Danika

      Reply

Leave a Reply Cancel reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.

photo credit: @billdjohnson

Welcome to Thinking Kids!

My name is Danika Cooley, and I’m glad you’re here. This site exists to help equip you to teach your kids the Bible and Christian history. I’m an author, a homeschool mom, and a curriculum developer. Pull up a chair and stay awhile.

Get Gifts & Exclusive Offers

Danika Cooley | As Seen and Heard On
Love the Bible for Kids | A resource you'll love!
10 Reasons to Take a Road Trip Through the Bible
Who What Why Reformation Free Printable Lapbooks

Popular Posts

Martin Luther and the 95 Theses

Martin Luther and the 95 Theses

When Lightning Struck Discussion Guide

Martin Luther: When Lightning Struck! Book Discussion Guide

Martin Luther for Teens | Historical Fiction Reviews

Martin Luther for Teens | Historical Fiction Reviews

Martin Luther Biography | When Lightning Struck Book Reviews

Martin Luther Biography | When Lightning Struck Book Reviews

Copyright 2010-2019 Danika Cooley.

About page images © Pam Koch 2015. Headshot © Bill D. Johnson 2015.
275 shares

Fall 2023 Thinking Kids Press Sale

Teach your kids the Bible and Christian history!
Save 20% on everything at Thinking Kids Press through 10/2/2023!

×