Here I admit I’ve struggled with anger and invite you to the book club: Are You An Angry Parent?
You can find my review of Pitchin’ A Fit here: Pitchin’ A Fit Book Review
And read my thoughts on the Intro to Chapter 2 here: Is Angry Parenting OK?
Here are my comments on Chapters 3-4: Anger: I’m in Love with Me
Chapter 5: Trigger Happy–What Sets you Off?
I think it’s a great idea to sit down with a pen and paper and make a list of your anger triggers. Can’t think of any? Keep a log. Each time you find yourself steaming, stop in your tracks and make a list of what’s happening, why you’re irritated, what you’ve eaten, how much sleep you’ve had, how you’re doing physically, whether you’ve had an extra cup of coffee, and anything else you can think of…..
I’ll get real with you for a moment and share my primary anger trigger. The Lord (through years of sanctification and much prayer and work on my part) has done a mighty work in my life with regard to anger. Praise His Holy Name! I’m so grateful.
That said, I have horrible (awful) asthma. During a flare, I have to take prednisone or I can’t breathe. (I love you all, but please don’t write me with alternative treatments. Believe me, I’ve heard them all, researched more, and tried most.) Prednisone is amazing–it treats inflammation well. But I find that when I’m taking high doses, sudden, loud noises make me irrationally and instantly angry. Not just a little irritated. Completely angry. I love my boys so very much, and I don’t want them to be worried about making noise.
Because I know what my anger trigger is, I’ve developed ways to cope with my (irrational) emotions so that I don’t share those flashes of feeling with the people I love. I do what I can to physically dull my hearing, and I pray a lot when I’m having a flare. I also constantly remind myself that nothing I feel on prednisone is real. Believe it or not, that helps a lot. In the moment I have a flash of anger, I am able to remember that my anger actually originates with the chemical in my bloodstream rather than with my expectations, selfishness, or lack of faith–and that it’s not the fault of anyone around me.
Chapter 6: Yelling Moms, Hollering Dads
I love, love, LOVE that the Waynes included praising kids in this section. I would much rather parent through relationship and edification than parent with punishment, emotional manipulation (AKA yelling), and negativity. I want to hold up a picture for my kids of godly character, instruct them continually, and edify as we go. I want to train my children up with care and intentionality. I want to respond to their childish mistakes and even their rebellion with love, Scripture, discussion questions, and–if necessary–gentle rebuke. But mostly, I want to praise them for good decisions and godly character.
Overcoming Anger Scripture Memory Cards
I took many of the Scripture verses mentioned in Pitchin’ A Fit, added a few of my own, and made a pack of Overcoming Anger Scripture Memory Cards for me–and for you. They’re available in ESV or KJV, and there are 45 verses in the pack. I’ll be working on memorizing these verses over the next three months. Will you join me?
Join the Discussion
We’re hosting discussions over at the Family Discipleship Facebook Group. Come on over and join us!
Purchase Pitchin’ a Fit
Check out our study schedule. It’s not to late to join! The book is just 159 pages, so this shouldn’t stress your schedule too much, and at one chapter a week, you’ll have lots of time for prayer, meditation, and Bible memory. Order a copy of the book and join us at the Family Discipleship group over on Facebook today! Please don’t forget to invite your friends. You never know who is wrestling anger silently in their own home or heart.
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~ Danika Cooley
Danika Cooley is the author of When Lightning Struck! The Story of Martin Luther (Fortress Press, 2015), Wonderfully Made (CF4K, 2016), and Bible Road Trip. Her work has been featured in internationally-recognized children's magazines over 150 times.