“If you can’t say ‘Amen’, you ought to say ‘Ouch’.” ~ Voddie Baucham
So… yeah. We’re into the nitty gritty of this anger thing with our book club now. Are you saying ‘Ouch’ yet? I know I’ve said it a few times. So often, my anger is the direct result of the fact that I’m really in love with me, myself, and I. Sometimes, and more painfully, my anger is the result of a terrible wound.
Here I admit I’ve struggled with anger and invite you to the book club: Are You An Angry Parent?
You can find my review of Pitchin’ A Fit here: Pitchin’ A Fit Book Review
And read my thoughts on the Intro to Chapter 2 here: Is Angry Parenting OK?
Chapter 3: What Causes Anger?….
I found this chapter really interesting. I know that often my anger with my children is the direct result of my expectations and my selfish nature. I want to do what I want to do–on my schedule–and sometimes (often?) my kids interfere with that.
Also, I found years ago that I was expecting my kids to live up to standards of perfection that I myself cannot live up to. I wanted them to move immediately, obey unquestioningly, and never (ever) leave their socks on the floor. Can you imagine what life would be like if your husband (or wife) expected the same of you? That’s miserable. The fact is, I get sick. I get tired. I forget things. All. The. Time. Even when I’m trying hard, I mess up–and I’ve been practicing this living thing for decades now. My kids are just getting started.
Grace. It’s all about grace, and patience. (See our last book club for more on that!)
Chapter 4: Provoking Our Children to Wrath
Did you read Israel’s testimony yet? Wow.
Friend, God can help you overcome any wound. Does that mean there won’t be a scar? No. Absolutely there will be a scar. Here’s what Scripture says about our scars:
Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of mercies and God of all comfort, who comforts us in all our affliction, so that we may be able to comfort those who are in any affliction, with the comfort with which we ourselves are comforted by God. For as we share abundantly in Christ’s sufferings, so through Christ we share abundantly in comfort too. If we are afflicted, it is for your comfort and salvation; and if we are comforted, it is for your comfort, which you experience when you patiently endure the same sufferings that we suffer. Our hope for you is unshaken, for we know that as you share in our sufferings, you will also share in our comfort. ~ 2 Corinthians 1:3-7, ESV
If you’ve suffered at the hands of a wrathful parent or authority, I’m so sorry. That’s so hard. I know that it takes time and effort to give that pain to the Lord. I also know He is faithful to heal and comfort us, and that He has plans to use that pain and suffering to participate in the comfort and salvation of others.
Perhaps the very next person to benefit from your suffering is your child. Let this be where you lay down your wound at the Cross and turn to the Father of mercies and God of all comfort. I know that’s tremendously difficult. It’s also tremendously worthwhile.
In this process, you may need assistance. I advise you to begin by sharing your pain and your need for assistance with your spouse, then meet with your pastor. Stop the cycle of anger with you, and become the comforter the Lord created you to be.
Overcoming Anger Scripture Memory Cards
Don’t forget to download your free pack of Overcoming Anger Scripture Memory Cards. They’re available in ESV or KJV, and there are 45 verses in the pack. Join me in memorizing these verses over the next three months.
Join the Discussion
We’re hosting discussions over at the Family Discipleship Facebook Group. Come on over and join us!
Purchase Pitchin’ a Fit
Check out our study schedule. The book is just 159 pages, so this shouldn’t stress your schedule too much, and at one chapter a week, you’ll have lots of time for prayer, meditation, and Bible memory. It’s not too late to join us. Order a copy of the book and join us at the Family Discipleship group over on Facebook today! Please don’t forget to invite your friends. You never know who is wrestling anger silently in their own home or heart.
~ Danika Cooley
Danika Cooley is the author of When Lightning Struck! The Story of Martin Luther (Fortress Press, 2015), Wonderfully Made (CF4K, 2016), and Bible Road Trip. Her work has been featured in internationally-recognized children's magazines over 150 times.